you should be hated here

"they are all surrounding. we're both hoping. failing slowly, attempting one thing:
to stand up with dignity; to walk away.

do you turn to prove it all? (never thought i could do anything right,)
and - i dreamt my eyes (but i didn't want to say that you were wrong.)
and all the scars upon my head were only meant to spell apologies.

there's a ten point deal that someone said (it's a nice guarantee to all turn black)
was impossible to find until you find it on the freeway, (with memories that haunt the past.)
standing stupid, looking blind.

i'm only here to fall apart. you've been angry from the start.
but i know these train wrecks happen all the time.

and everything that no one knows, you should be hated here by now.
this was the prettiest lie that i told tonight. it's been the prettiest lie that i told all year.

the unmade bed inside the room (it could be now)
where i don't feel comfortable at all. (and i don't feel proud.)
where the blankets stared at me for hours, (i'm so sorry now)
and i stared right back so self-righteously. (i'm sorry now.)

and it all comes down to composure that's been lost.
when it all comes down to composure that's been lost."
(carissa's wierd, songs about leaving (2002), 1.parça)