pushit

i will choke until i swallow...
choke this infant here before me.
what is this but my reflection?
who am i to judge and strike you down?

but you're pushing and shoving me.
you still love me and you pushit on me.

rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.
take care not to make me enter. '
cause if i do we both may disappear.

but you're pushing me, shoving me.
pushit on me.

slipping back into the gap again.
i'm alive when you're touching me,
alive when you're shoving me down.
but i'd trade it all for just a little bit of piece of mind.

put me somewhere i don't wanna be.
seeing someplace i don't wanna see.
never wanna see that place again.

saw that gap again today as you were begging me to stay.
managed to push myself away, and you, as well.
if, when i say i may fade like a sigh if i stay,
you minimize my movement anyway,
i must persuade you another way.
there's no love in fear.

staring down the hole again.
hands upon my back again.
survival is my only friend.
terrified of what may come.
just remember i will always love you,
even as i tear your fucking throat away.
but it will end no other way