1. 1.
    It seems that there's a fence between Heaven and Hell, which had fallen into disrepair. St. Peter sought out Satan.

    "Hey, Satan, it's your turn to fix the fence. The big guy says it looks awful. Get it done."

    "I like the way it looks," Satan answered. "I'm not doing anything."

    "You have to," said St. Peter. "It's your duty. You signed a contract when we built the fence, and you are obligated to repair it."

    "You think I care about that contract?" asked Satan. "You should know better than that. I said I am not doing anything, and if you don't leave me alone, I may just tell you what you can do with that contract."

    "If you don't make the repairs," St. Peter said angrily, "The law will make you. If you don't live up to your obligations under the contract, we'll sue you."

    "Sue me?" Satan couldn't help laughing. "Where are you gonna get a lawyer?"
    -1 ... malcolmriver
  2. 2.
    ... malcolmriver
  3. 3.
    A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down.

    After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move.

    The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced, "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."

    But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said, "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now."

    Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it -- if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town.

    "What did he say?" asked the Ranger.

    The lawyer answered, "He said 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
    ... malcolmriver
  4. 4.
    Avukatın teki kendi oğlunu yanında çırak olarak yetiştirir.

    Oğlu işi gayet iyi de öğrenince de oğluna:

    -Oğlum artık sen bu işi yapabiliyorsun. Hep Dünya turu yapmak istemiştim. Artık iş senin. Ben 4 ay Dünya turuna çıkacağım.

    +Peki baba

    Adam döndükten sonra:

    -Eee, oğlum işler nasıl gitti,

    +Süper giti baba, birsürü dava aldım bir de senin şu senelerdir bitiremdeiğin bir dava vardı, hani çok şu çok zengin boşanmış çiftin nafaka sorunu


    +O davayı bitirdim

    -Hay allah belanı versin, (ana avrat küfür) sen, ben o ekmek parasını nerden buluyordum zannediyorsun.
    1 ... bard of hell
  5. 5.
    (bkz: avukat esprileri) *
    ... regulus
  6. 6.
    (bkz: idam cezası geri gelmiş hacı ya)
    ... b00k