had to

katatonia'nın tonights decision albümünün, asıl adı had to (leave) olan 4. parçası. nefret edilen ama bir yerden de anlaşılmaz bir şekilde sevilen bir kişi öldürülmüş de sanki bu şarkı yazılmış hissi verir, gerek müzikal gerekse sözel olarak. öyle de sapık bir şarkıdır.

so you were with us until the last minute
and then you were gone from here
and i watched and i just figured out
that i will never see you again

i had a choice
you had to leave
into the night
this was my choice

it's so hard to explain what i meant
when i said that i wanted you dead
but i saw you fuck up and i just can't get back
the feeling i had for you

so i put all my strength into my only will
it was the only thing to do
and now i only regret that i cried
cause you would never do that for me